Well, I’ve finally stopped circling the airport, and although I’m still in hospital I’m starting to feel slightly better now that the undesirable effects of the anaesthetic are wearing off.

The staff tell me that I must get some rest. All I can say is that chance would be a fine thing. Here’s what’s happened to me from midnight last night to midday today:

12 midnight: Very frightening German nurse prods me with a finger to get my attention whilst I’ve got my headphones on listening to Pink Floyd. She then stabs a needle in my stomach to ‘thin my blood’.
2am: Same very frightening German nurse puts her head around the door of my room and asks why I’m not asleep yet.
4am: Tired but still frightening German nurse comes in, yawns, looks at me and goes out again.
6am: More nurses knock on the door to do the first of the day’s observations.
7am: Tea lady brings a clanking trolley in.
7.30am: Breakfast appears.
8am: Medications appear.
8.30: Cleaners appear.
9.00: Water lady changes the water jugs
9.30: Nurse comes in to make my bed so I have to get out of it.
10:00: Another nurse knocks on the door to do a second lot of observations.
11.00: Surgeon turns up and says the operation was successful and now the suction has to be taken off the drain. If there’s not too much liquid in the drain at 5.30 then I can go home.
11.15: Nurse comes in to take the suction off the drain.
12.00: Lunch is served.

Rest? I’d get more rest sitting in Euston station…….