Now I’ve got your attention with the title, this week on the Open Book Blog Hop we’re talking about…….Sex – it’s everywhere; on TV, even in the news, and in books and magazines. How do you deal with it? How do you feel about it?
Of course how you feel about sex depends a lot on your age and whether you are male or female. No doubt I am of a different opinion to most because I’m an older, world-weary female, and as far as I’m concerned, most of the population seems obsessed with what to me is a very private matter, and it saddens me immensely.
As a younger woman I was unworldly and lived in ignorance of the effects of my husband’s addiction to porn. Now, with the knowledge of how damaging a sex addiction can be, combined with being six years into my rocky journey down Menopause Alley, I can happily say that these days I’m quite content with not having to see or read about anybody else’s genitalia for the rest of my life! In fact, I’d even go so far as to say that I’d definitely rather have a hot dinner instead! I’ve only got to read the word ‘sexy’ in a book blurb, and that will turn me off straight away and make me emit a very un-erotic moan……
I actually feel sorry for today’s young men, full of raging hormones and having to deal with the constant bombardment from provocatively dressed women and graphic sex scenes portrayed in modern-day films, on TV, and in books and magazines. Of course they are no doubt quite happy in discovering such ‘treasures’, but then they might want to experiment further and veer towards internet porn, which only serves to degrade women and depict them as sex objects, and could possibly start those of an addictive nature off on a downward slide into sex addiction. With its attendant secrecy, lies, and resultant lack of trust, sex addiction can lead to extra-marital affairs and broken, dysfunctional families. I know, because ours was nearly broken, and it took the threat of me leaving to finally bring my husband to his senses.
Young boys cannot even escape from sex by watching the music channels, which again are often depicting scantily clad women. I see my poor granddaughters too young to know what sex is all about, dancing about suggestively whilst trying to copy what they’re seeing on MTV. It’s actually horrible to watch.
Speaking from the experience several years ago of watching a loved one trying to kick a long-time porn habit which started in his early teenage years, I found out from a counsellor that a sex addiction is the hardest one to kick, as it always makes the victim feel so good at the time. I was also surprised to discover that it takes at least 18 months for a sex addict’s brain to re-wire back to normal after deciding to stop looking at or reading porn.
On the news most nights there’s yet another sex scandal involving people very high up in authority who should be setting an example. The older I get the more saddened I am by the corruption and double standards going on by so-called ‘pillars of society’, especially when vulnerable and innocent children are involved. It makes me wonder just who on earth we can trust?
One of the books picked out as a suggested read for a book club I used to belong to showed me just how far these double standards go. When I left the book club I carried on reading it, as it’s a true story and really shocking. Although it’s true I still have difficulty getting my head around the fact that something like this happened in 1960’s England, and so I’ve decided to give it a shout-out.
In the 1960’s a young boy from a very wealthy background was placed in good faith by his parents into an expensive private boys’ school. With the headmaster’s knowledge (who assured the boy the school would deny everything and start lawsuits if he spoke out against them) he was initiated with his consent into a secret society. Boys belonging to this group were instructed by mentors on how to please men sexually, and then flown out to the Middle East for 3 months at a time to provide sex for wealthy men able to shower the boys and the school with many gifts and wads of cash. If their parents wanted to come and visit them at the school then they would be flown back at a moment’s notice. Monies earned were paid into Swiss bank accounts set up by the school for each boy.
The author of the book was a willing participant, but was only 13 at the time! Would you want this for your son? Is it still going on today? Who knows? My opinion is that it probably is. What do you think?
When I first started writing I was told to ‘sex it up a bit’, as sex sells. I must admit, writing about an activity which to me is best done behind closed doors is difficult, but by the time I got around to my 9th book ‘Revenge’ I was finding it a little easier, although I still like to leave a lot to the reader’s imagination and prefer to omit the ‘nitty gritty’. Also, when it comes to the amount of sex we see on TV and in films, I am still of the opinion that less is more. Society in general has taken a natural human function, stripped it of all emotion, and has sent it off to hell in a handcart. Rant over, of course I’m not against sex between two loving, consenting adults in private, but I say for goodness’ sake keep it private! I don’t want to know anything about it! Let’s have some long-lost decorum and modesty in public!
What does P.J MacLayne think about sex? A computer geek by day and a writer by night, P.J. MacLayne grew up in the rolling hills of Pennsylvania and sets much of her writing in that landscape. She currently lives in the shadow of the Rocky Mountains. You can check out her Amazon author page here http://www.amazon.com/P.J.-MacLayne/e/B00HVE8WZI/ and her blogs here http://pjmaclayne.blogspot.co.uk/
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