I feel sorry for the two workmen who are installing our central heating. Temperatures are climbing up to the high 20’s now, and they need thick overalls on to clamber about in the loft to avoid coming into contact with any fibreglass cladding. Sweat is dripping from their brows. They have spent most of the day up and down the loft ladder, and hauling new radiators about. They also seem to have an insatiable thirst, and my new bottle of lemon barley water is just about empty.
However, there is one saving grace. My little corner where I work is going to be relatively unaffected. I thought I’d be offline for most of the week, but it seems I can carry on as normal amidst the noise and confusion. Drippings and tricklings assail my ears every now and again, and hobnailed boots march past trailing hosepipes. The drilling has also started. To top it all my house is now full of flies, as we are opposite a field of cows and the two chaps, pleasant as they are, seem incapable of closing the front or back doors.
Poor old Sam has it worse upstairs, where the floorboards are being taken up. He’s trying to carry out phone conversations with customers whilst our two workmen wreak havoc outside his office. Soon they will be invading his little space, taking up the carpet, and doing their thing with copper pipes. I can hear it all going on above. Every now and then Sam comes down for a cup of tea, puts his head around the door of the living room, and rolls his eyes to the heavens.
I shall be glad when this week is over. Our garage has been taken over by tools, radiators and boxes, and I have to park in the street because two large vans are in our driveway. It’s enough to make you sing the blues!
Woke up one morning (duh duh duh duh),
What did I see (duh duh duh duh)?
Two vans on my driveway,
No parking space for me.
Drilling and dust,
And a houseful of flies,
One of the men looks like
He’s eaten all the pies.
What can I do?
It’s got to be done,
I’m having central heating fitted,
And it ain’t much fun.