I get out and about to the most glamorous of places. Yesterday I took poor old Dot to the chiropodist to have her toenails sanded down (you think I’m joking, don’t you?). In order to get her there we now have to have a specially adapted van to accommodate her wheelchair, as she is virtually immobile. While the mini sander does its thing, Stevie sits in the waiting room with the driver of the van, a middle aged man of about 50 -55 called Frank. So here’s the gist of part of the conversation between Frank and Stevie.
- Stevie (picks up magazine): “Mum won’t be long; about ten to fifteen minutes. You won’t be late home for your tea.”
- Frank: “That’s alright, I live alone now. I’m one of the happy divorced.”
- Stevie: “Oh.”
- Frank: “Well, you get married because it’s the usual thing to do isn’t it? You’re young, you know nothing, so you get married. I wasn’t in love when I got married though, only after I got divorced.”
- Stevie: “So you fell in love with your ex-wife after you were divorced?”
- Frank: “Nah, I found somebody else; never loved anyone as much as I loved her. If only I’d met her first!”
- Stevie (gives up reading magazine): “Life doesn’t always pan out the way we hope.”
- Frank: “I wish I was seventeen again and know what I know now.”
- Stevie: “I think we all wish that.”
- Frank: “I had four kids with the first wife, but I never loved her. She married somebody else a few years after we were divorced”.
So my question is, even though you’re young and silly, why get married in the first place to somebody you don’t love? Perhaps the first wife was pregnant and he wanted to do the right thing? I don’t know; he didn’t say, but it doesn’t take rocket science to foresee the outcome. Ultimately to marry somebody you do not love must eventually lead to heartache and unhappiness, not only for the wife, who probably realised early on that her husband didn’t love her, but also for the four children growing up with just a weekend father. A long conversation with Frank until Mum appeared again only confirmed to me that his love life must be somewhat complicated, with women appearing and disappearing at regular intervals, all of whom he had fallen in love with at some point or other. I have that ‘listening’ face, and Frank suddenly wanted to get it all off his chest.
So now Frank’s alone and drives a Dial-a-Ride bus. He does what he wants, when he wants, but is he one of the happy divorced? He didn’t appear very happy to me, but then I only met him for half an hour or so. It’s usually elderly women who witter on about their life stories, but I got a potted version of Frank’s in the time it took to sand down Dot’s toenails. If you ask me, Frank would really, really like somebody to love…
Today it’s a visit to the doctor with Dot. The surgery is just around the corner from her care home so I don’t need to call upon Frank’s services, but who knows – I might get to sit next to somebody interesting while she’s in the consultation room!
Veronica Knox said:
Let’s hear it for the power of owning and operating a ‘listening face.’
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Stevie Turner said:
I’ve definitely got one of those!
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saharafoley said:
Men tell their life stories more than you realize. I talk to men on the phone all the time for my job. I’ve heard a lot of really interesting ones.
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mariaholm said:
I am sure Frank was relieved to tell you his story.
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Stevie Turner said:
People often feel compelled to. I think it’s because I don’t talk much!
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Stevie Turner said:
It was strange that a man was telling me his life story – it’s usually women who do this. I’m the opposite – I’d rather sit and read my Kindle!
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thejuicenut said:
I’m the same. A young woman I met recently had really injured her back falling down the stairs. I had seen she was in pain and asked what she’d done. She told me in great detail and then noticed I had a back support cushion and homed in on the fact I have a bad back too. She wanted to know every detail, I said in as many words I’d rather not go into it but she wasn’t to be deflected. She said she loved details. I gave her a tiny bone (sorry for the pun) and then she proceeded to tell me every detail of her medical history! Then someone else joined in. She was lovely, and obviously a caring person, but…
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robjodiefilogomo said:
It is funny how complete strangers will tell you their life story!! It must be your kind demeanor!!
But no sense wishing for the past to be rewritten—-you should tell Frank to go enjoy life now!!
jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
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franklparker said:
I love people watching, and speculating about people’s lives. Sometimes when they talk it bursts the bubble! I have great difficulty recalling the details, though.
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Stevie Turner said:
I can recall conversations from years back. I think it’s a girl thing. It drives my husband insane.
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Darlene said:
There is something about writers, folks just seem to be willing to open up to us. It happens to me all the time. The world is filled with interesting people, if we just take the time to listen. My hubby can´t believe how much information I learn about someone in a very short time!
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Stevie Turner said:
Yes, absolutely. I’ve spent my whole life listening, because Dot has spent the majority of her 92 years talking!
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Keith Channing said:
That sounds like a splendid way to collect character sketches, and maybe even sub-plots.
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Stevie Turner said:
It’s an occupational hazard when you’re an author! My husband often wonders if words he says or things he does find their way into one of my stories. Er…
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Keith Channing said:
Don’t tell her, but there’s a complete story-line in The Orphans that is taken directly from what my daughter told me about a month she and a friend spent volunteering in an orphanage in Tanzania. Does that make me a bad person? I did change the names and occupations.
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Stevie Turner said:
Ha ha! We can’t help it, can we?
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