This is a new category on my WordPress blog.  Every Thursday I will write down a quote I’ve seen, read or heard, and give my own insight into it.  Of course readers are welcome to take up my invite and add their own viewpoints too!

This week’s quote is by Petteri Tarkkonen, who says these wise words:

‘Don’t judge me by my past. I don’t live there anymore’.

Petteri Tarkkonen from LinkedIn:

Since 1990, PETTERI (Peter) TARKKONEN has served as Managing Director, CEO, and President of Finn-ID Oy. He is an accomplished and passionate senior executive with a finely-tuned perspective of the corporate culture and a solid history of leadership, business development, and achievement with high tech business units in Finland, Russia, Estonia, Latvia, and Lithuania. Known for his exceptional communication and negotiation skills and ability to build and manage teams, Peter is a strategic thinker with a stellar history of delivering extraordinary results.

Stevie’s Insight:

Adults are a finished product of their childhood upbringing and of inadvertent mistakes and repeated behaviours learned in their teens and early twenties whilst their personalities were still being formed.  Some learned behaviours and experiences they undergo as youngsters do not always yield the best results when it’s time to settle down with their life partners and raise a family.  Here’s a few memories from my own family that were thankfully un-learned:

  • Myself as an only child needing to un-learn territorial jealousies, an unwillingness to share, and an unforgiving nature.
  • My husband’s parents being short of food as children had the knock-on effect of causing all their own children to be overweight through over-feeding.  On leaving home as a young man, my husband had to un-learn what he had previously considered normal food portions because he wanted to shed a quarter of his body weight.
  • My husband having to un-learn a chronically addictive nature for the sake of a harmonious marriage.
  • My son un-learning bachelor habits for the sake of his wife’s happiness.

It can be done; learned behaviours can be un-learned.  However, it takes motivation and a willingness to change on the part of the person involved.  Partners should encourage and embrace that change and not look back, learn to forgive, and look to the future without constantly bringing a partner’s previous behaviour to the fore in conversations.  The person they were has gone, along with the past.

Have you a learned behaviour that you had to un-learn?  Do join in this week’s Cite & Insight blog!