Some social scientists have predicted that certain scenarios could mean your marriage is more likely to end in divorce. I’ll list a few of them below, but will spare the obvious ones such as adultery and physical or sexual abuse:
1. Marrying in your teens or after the age of 32.
I know one marriage that failed and one that survived where both brides were 18. My best friend was 33 when she married, and she is still married to the same guy. Teenagers still need to mature emotionally, and may find after a few years that the young person they married is now totally different. Some I suppose cannot cope with this. Older people in their thirties may be too set in their ways to live with a partner, and may be unable to compromise.
2. One partner doesn’t have a full time job.
If one partner is at home looking after children and money is tight, they may resent their other half ‘getting under their feet’ at home when he/she should be out working and providing for the family.
3. Not finishing senior school.
Without a basic education, trying to survive in an increasingly competitive world will be full of pitfalls. How can somebody gain decent employment which pays enough to provide for a family if he/she cannot read and write properly?
4. Being overly affectionate as newlyweds.
Passion fades to companionship in time, and this may be a shock for a couple ‘joined-at-the-hip-and-other places’ so to speak…
5. Weathering daily stress.
Stress either brings couples closer together or tears them apart.
6. Withdrawing during conflict.
If one partner refuses to talk about the problem and clams up or walks off, then the other one is going to become mightily angry!
7. Turning a behaviour into a statement about a partner’s character.
They told a little white lie to spare your feelings, and now they’re a pathological liar…
Sam and I married when we were both 22. We had both finished senior school and Sam had also completed a 4 year apprenticeship. Sam has had about 5 days off sick from his full time job since I’ve known him (40 years), and weathering financial hardship in the 1980s and industrial stress/conflict in our early fifties brought us closer together. Hence I suppose that’s why we are still married after nearly 38 years! However, other marriages I’ve known have not fared so well.
What do you think helps a marriage to survive?