“Nanny” said my 6 year old grandson Ethan, “Can we have a game of Chess?”
I’m always up for a Chess game. Dad started to teach me Chess when I was about 5 or 6, and I still use the same board and pieces that we used back in the 1960s and early 1970s. Dad never let me win, although I suffered (and so did he I expect) many meltdowns as a result. Mum would implore him to let me win, but he always stood firm and replied that letting me win would do me no good at all. Okay I never beat Dad, but when I was 12 I did beat my uncle. I felt like dancing around the room, and so did Dad!
I taught my two boys to play, which helped Leon no end with his concentration. I never let them win either, and by the time they were teenagers they took great delight in beating me fair and square at the odd game or five.
Marc has now started to teach Ethan. So on Sunday when they came to lunch Ethan and I sat down at the Chessboard and started to play. My daughter-in-law hovered by my right shoulder, expecting me to let Ethan win. However, I had no intention of doing so, as I realised my dad had been right. Letting Ethan win would do him no good at all.
The meltdown came when he was left with three pawns and a king. He stomped off and announced he was not going to play anymore. Memories came flooding back of myself doing exactly the same thing and Dad quietly packing up the Chess pieces and putting them back in the box.
I picked up the Chess pieces and put them back in the box. What goes around comes around!
Would you let your six year old win, or do you think that letting them win would do them no good at all?
Stevie Turner 
I think you are right! It never does good to let someone have a mistaken belief of their ability or skill. Let them earn it, the old fashioned way. Besides, I believe that teaching someone to persist in the face of failure is teaching them to be stronger and want to get better. I don’t throw game at any sport or game.
Loved this post! There is research to show that chess is helpful in the rehabilitation of criminals. It teaches consequences, skill and pride as well as logical thinking.
The best book on learning chess I’ve read is “Made Simple Teaching Library’s book on chess! Check it out for your grandson!
Super post!
xoxo
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Thanks for your comment. I like it for children because it makes them concentrate. Usually kids are looking at flickering TV screens or games on their phones – not good for concentration.
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In a world where “everyone wins” something gets lost. Not everyone can win. This is obviously 6 year old behavior. You learned, I learned that. Kids today, who get trophies for participation really don’t learn and they point misses at each other and have scorched earth policies when they grown up
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Absolutely. Thanks Andrea for your comment. Kids must learn to lose, and lose without going into meltdown!
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As usual – tough love. I’d have done the same thing – despite the fact that I have no clue how to play chess LOL 🙂 xx
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Tough love is cool!
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I agree with the principle, Stevie. I was never any good at chess – I can’t hold all the potential follow up moves in my head like the experts do. (I guess that’s why I am more of a pantser than a plotter when it comes to writing.) Same goes for card games like Bridge and Poker. I used to enjoy playing backgammon with my son.
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I never got into card games either, but I do like Chess.
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It is not our job to make life easier for our offspring. They need to learn the value of achievement, or their lives will be mediocre…
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That’s a fact.
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Jaye, I’ve just emailed the questions again. They’re also on your Facebook messages. Can you see them?
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Yes, I saw them on Facebook last night even though they said it was full. Do I have to answer all the questions… and how long do I have to get them back to you?
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As many as you want to. There’s no rush as I’m still waiting for other replies.
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Reblogged this on anita dawes and jaye marie.
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Thank you!
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Your dad was a wise man. My dad didn’t let us win, but he taught us how to win and how to be good sports when we didn’t. He encouraged us to be competitive and to play fair which has served us well. We didn’t play chess but many other board games as we didn’t have a TV and of course we played cards. I loved monopoly and we would play the game for days sometimes. Great memories.
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Ah yes, Monopoly. Loved that one as a kid.
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you’re right. some people are allowed to win too easily and don’t learn the value of persistence
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Yes. My granddaughter received a medal at her school sports day for coming in last!
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I’m sorry but that verges on fatuous. Do adults think children as so stupid they cannot work it out for themselves that such medals are worthless?
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Who knows? Everything’s so PC now. All kids have to be treated equally I suppose, and so they all receive a medal. Nobody must lose in case the parents sue the school. It’s probably all down to money!
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and it’s turning out so well 😦
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Lol.
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I do not believe in letting children win or giving them accolades for mediocre work. There is far to much of this that happens nowadays with the result that children do not think they have to work to achieve.
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Absolutely, and they’re gutted if they don’t win. They need to learn that sometimes in life you lose.
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