The Nation Listens (copyright Stevie Turner 2020)
Tonight Boris Johnson will speak to us all
And tell us if this country has gone to the wall.
Will we be able to meet up with our kin?
Drive to the recycling plant and empty our bins?
Will the children be able to go back to school?
Will the gym re-open and the swimming pool?
What about cafes, dentists and shops?
Will our excitement turn out to be just a big flop?
Government is giving nothing away,
Can I get my hair cut? They just won’t say.
They cleverly left it ‘till Bank Holiday was over.
The pubs remained shut, and we all stayed sober.
Beaches were empty, no ice creams were sold,
And on Sunday afternoon the weather turned cold.
Below are predictions I might have heard
In dire anticipation of Boris’s words:
Back to work on Monday, and on arrival,
You’re knackered and hot ‘cos you’ve just had to cycle.
No cars allowed. Boris has said,
We’ve got to get fitter or we’ll all be dead.
No school ‘till September, he’s very sorry,
The virus remains, causing him much worry.
No-go to holiday homes, he hates being a wrecker
Says Boris, as he sits in the front room at Chequers.
Don’t visit your lover, your boyfriend, your mistress,
Don’t look out the plane window at holiday vistas.
No parties, no groups, don’t book a hotel,
And stay at home if you feel unwell.
All you can do is exercise for longer,
To stop the virus and make your heart stronger.
Don’t use the car, leave the roads free
For Government ministers in their Jags and Bentleys.
They give us rules so we’re not led astray,
Don’t do as they do… do as they say.