Mr Bump and I decided to write poems about ageing. Here’s Mr Bump’s poem about hair in all the wrong places, and here’s my effort below:
Ageing Sucks, by Stevie Turner
My eyes are not what they were
Back when I was young.
It’s hard to thread a needle,
Ageing ain’t no fun.
Today I lost another tooth.
And I’ve got a cough,
I wish someone could cure old age
Before anything else drops off.
My knees creak
My waterworks leak
And my back is as stiff as can be,
There’s corns and bunions on my feet
And nobody’s older than me.
I can’t seem to hear too much
I try with all my might
But you should have seen his face
When we went to bed last night.
He said something to me
The gist of it I’d got
To me it sounded something like
“Have you emptied the bins, or not?”
I had to ask him once again
Just to confirm it in my foggy old brain
I looked at him
Smiled a lot
And mouthed one word, and that word was
“What?”
His eyes lit up, he gave me a kiss
But how wrong his words I’d got
For what he’d actually asked me was…
“Shall we go to sleep then, or what?”
Too late I realised my mistake,
He gave me a leery grin,
But I’m very sad to have to say
I’d rather have emptied the bins.
You young folks make the most of it
For soon your bodies will be changing
And then you’ll find you are like me
‘Cos there ain’t no cure for ageing.
dgkaye said:
Lol, funny, but somehow depressing. 🙂 xx
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Stevie Turner said:
Yes indeed. You’ve got to laugh, or you’ll cry…
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dgkaye said:
You got it! x
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Astrid said:
This is so funny! That being said, I’ve heard that people who make it to their 90s or so think age 82 is their happiest. There’s even some neuroscience behind it, in that the amygdala (the brain’s fear center) shrinks in old age. Anyway, I completely agree with you about making the most of the time we’re young.
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Stevie Turner said:
That’s interesting. Thanks.
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John W. Howell said:
I enjoyed this one, Stevie. A lot of truth in a humorous way. 😁
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Stevie Turner said:
Thanks John. Yes, quite a lot of it is true unfortunately.
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franklparker said:
I’m three hundred and sixty some days away from 80 so I know just what you mean! Thanks for the giggle, Stevie.
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Stevie Turner said:
Glad you liked it, Frank. I’m sure you’ll still be cycling about even at 90…
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Diane Tibert said:
Funny. My mother, now 92, always told me, “Don’t get old.” My response to her was, “The alternative isn’t better.” I love getting older. As John Denver wrote in that song, “Growing old turns me on.” I am excited about the next ten years; they will be my best ten years because I will make them so.
Have a wonderful day; enjoy it to the fullest. You’ll never be as young as you are today.
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Stevie Turner said:
What a great positive attitude! My mum always said “Never get old, and never get old and fat.” Lol, I’m trying my best to keep the fat off and keep it all moving. Thanks for your comment.
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OIKOS™-Editorial said:
😉 Thank you, for a funny one. We cant change it. Enjoy your weekend, Stevie! Please stay save.Michael
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Stevie Turner said:
No we can’t, Michael, that’s for sure. Have a nice day.
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OIKOS™-Editorial said:
Thank you Stevie! You too.Please stay save, but enjoy the weekend! Michael
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Mister Bump UK said:
Hahaha, brilliant Stevie. Oooh,,, was that the floorboards just creaking? Or was it you?
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Stevie Turner said:
Thanks for your comment. It was my knees, lol!
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