I’m sure I shall have nightmares tonight. When I tried to leave the hospital today I was blocked in…

A massive arse

Four feet wide

Clad in leggings

Today I spied.

There it was

In front of me,

A vision that

I’d rather not see.

The sight before me

To be honest, I hated,

Especially as it


I tried to dodge it

Wished I could give it a shove,

‘Cos it blocked the door

I had to get out of.

There it was

In the way

Owner on her phone

She had a lot to say.

Legs like tree trunks

Supported the arse

That filled the doorway

So no-one could pass.

The moral of the story

To teach the class

Is never wear tight leggings

If you’ve got a big arse!