I was rather annoyed when I received a message recently. It was from somebody I didn’t know, and the entire message read: ‘Hi. Please check out my website’. They left their name, but that was all.

I’m not sure that this person has been blogging for very long. They might wonder why I haven’t replied or checked out their website. Bloggers who have been online for some time would know better than to send me a message like that one. I’m afraid that I give spammers short shrift.

Bob Marley wrote the tune, but I’ve massacred his words…

SPAMMING

We’re spamming,

I wanna spam it wit choo.

We’re spamming,

And I know you like spamming too.

Write a book, and I vow

You will do it anyhow,

I can always count on you.

‘Cos no one wants to pay the price

So our pride we sacrifice,

Spamming till the spamming’s through.

We’re spamming (spamming, spamming, spamming),

Uh-huh. I wanna spam it wit choo.

We’re spamming,

And I know you like spamming too.

Fifty tweets will allow

Us to sell a few books now,

Even if we lose our souls,

For I know that what is best

Is to have those Pinterest

Facebook and WordPress goals.

We’re spamming,

I wanna spam it wit choo.

We’re spamming,

Goodreads is another one too.

Don’t forget Instagram,

You can send a load of spam

On Mailchimp especially.

Get those newsletters out

And with no shadow of a doubt

You will make your readers scream….

Stop spamming!

Don’t wanna spam it wit choo,

No more spamming,

I’m gonna change what I have to do.

Gonna write super blogs,

Gonna try and do a vlog,

And book trailers, ‘cos I’ve seen the light.

All my time is taken up

Sending spam and doing stuff,

There’s never any time to write.

I’m not spamming,

Don’t wanna spam it wit choo,

Not spamming,

I think at last my spamming’s through.