I saw this question posed on social media recently:
How far away do you live from the place you were born?
Many (I’d say the majority) of people who answered this question lived within 100 miles of where they were born, but some had travelled across oceans to live on the other side of the world. However, I came to the conclusion from reading the replies that most people prefer to remain in the area they grew up in and know well. Is it because they feel a particular area is their ‘territory’? Is it because their friends and family are all around them? Or is it perhaps because locals speak their mother tongue with the accent they learned as a child?
I was born in the East End of London, and also have lived in South East London, South West London, Croydon (Surrey), and Suffolk, all within 100 miles of where I was born. However, I feel most at home when it’s time to visit my grandmother’s grave in the East London cemetery, where my mum’s ashes also rest. We walk around the local area, visit Chrisp Street market and the site of my old house (it’s now a college) if we go on a Saturday, and during these times I listen out to hear any of the locals who might speak with the accent /slang I heard all around me as I was growing up. This particular accent you can probably hear on the ‘EastEnders’ TV programme if you watch it (I cannot bear melodramatic ‘soaps’ and neither can Sam), but I hardly hear it at all in Suffolk. The East End has changed beyond all recognition and is not home to me anymore, but I’m always pleased to see that some of the streets I ran and played in as a child are still there.
Do I feel rooted in the East End I ask myself? I’m not sure, is the answer. I’d have to say I feel a pull to visit there every once in a while (we tidy Nan’s grave once a year) just to see what further damage has been done to the area I once called home. I don’t feel rooted in Suffolk either though, as the accent is different and many of my friends and family are in London or London’s outskirts. Maybe I’m rootless, but I enjoy living in the countryside. I have no desire to move back to London, but I always look forward to travelling there to meet people I know or to attend functions. If anything I would prefer to live on the Isle of Wight, a place 200 miles from Suffolk where I’ve lived for 30 years and around 90 miles from London. We know the Island so well that it’s like a second home to us. If Sam survives me, he knows to scatter half my ashes on the Isle of Wight, and half on my grandmother’s grave.
Do you prefer to stay near to where you were born? Is it because your family are there, or is it because you know every road, side street and back alley in the area? Do you feel at home when you hear the locals speak? It’s quite fascinating to me why we feel a pull even half a century later to a particular place where we don’t now live but, by coincidence, we had just happened to be born there.
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petespringerauthor said:
I live about 3,000 miles from my birthplace. If I grew up in that area, my answer might be different, but I don’t feel attached to my birthplace at all. On the other hand, I’ve lived pretty much in the same area for almost 50 years. I don’t see us moving very far because my wife and I prefer the moderate climate that we live in.
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Stevie Turner said:
Thanks for your comment, Pete.
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Geoff Stamper said:
Interesting question. I never thought of it in terms of the 2841 miles from birth (New Rochelle, New York) to retirement (Bellevue, Washington). Many miles while remaining in the same country.
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Stevie Turner said:
I take it you now prefer Bellevue to New Rochelle?
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Geoff Stamper said:
I have pretty much liked the variety of living in both places and all the stops in between now that you prompt me to reflect on it.
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Phil Huston said:
It doesn’t matter where you are, only who you are. From Edward Albee’s “Zoo Story” – “Sometimes it’s necessary to go a long distance out of the way in order to come back a short distance correctly.”
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Stevie Turner said:
… having ‘found’ yourself in the process.
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dgkaye said:
Love your story Stevie. I’ve always lived in Toronto, moved around a lot, especially with Hubby. Ironically, life is a circle and I’m now living a mere 7 minutes drive from where I grew up. 🙂 xx
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Stevie Turner said:
And I bet even though you’ve lived in many places, you prefer where you’re living now? x
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dgkaye said:
It’s familiar. But I’m itching for bigger horizons! Have to dream! ❤
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Stevie Turner said:
Ah, there our paths diverge. I like the horizon I have. x
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davidprosser said:
I was actually born in BFPO Germany but never felt the need to return there. My father was born in South Wales but though I’ve lived and worked in Hackney, Stockport, Coventry and Birmingham my home and where the ‘Hiraeth’ is remains in North Wales. My daughter and family live just a hop and step over the border in Chester so I’m not too far away, though it has felt like it for the last 12 months or so. Next week I hope to dodge the border guards and sneak over to see them all without being deported.
Huge Hugs
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Stevie Turner said:
Hi David, thanks for your comment. Did you grow up in Germany or Wales? Hope you can dodge the border police, lol.
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davidprosser said:
I was brought back from Germany aged aboutb1 and spend my childhood in Stockport, Cheshire and left for Wales when it became Stockport , Greater Manchester aged about 12. Since then I’ve been here except for a few years working away.. Aged 70 now I couldn’t be anywhere else. Usually the border police can be bribed with a sausage roll or two but I’ve had narrow escapes from the vegetarians. I don’t think Chester has ever repealed the law that you can shoot a Welshman (with an arrow) if found within Chester after sundown.
Hugs
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jwebster2 said:
I live in the house I was born in 🙂
But then in farming it goes with the job
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Stevie Turner said:
Wow, you haven’t moved too far away then, lol.
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jwebster2 said:
Still in the same bedroom I was moved into when I was however many months old 🙂
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Stevie Turner said:
How lovely.
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jwebster2 said:
By chance, there wasn’t much difference in size between the two main bedrooms 🙂
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beetleypete said:
For most of my life in London, I lived around 7-10 miles away from where I was born. Then for a while in the 1990s, I moved to Hertfordshire. That was only 40 miles from where I grew up, but it felt like a different country. So I soon moved back, this time to Camden, only 6 miles from where I was born.
In 2012, I moved to Beetley to retire. It is only 115 miles from my area of London, (Bermondsey) but it might just as well be 1,500 miles away, as it is so different. It also felt like I had gone backwards in time.
I suppose I will always be a Londoner. Just a Londoner who no longer lives in London.
Best wishes, Pete.
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Stevie Turner said:
I remember moving to Suffolk in 1991 after living in Croydon and felt the same way as you did. I did initially think we’d made a terrible mistake, but after a year of getting used to the slower pace of life I’m happy enough here. Like you, I’m a Londoner who no longer lives in London. I got used to it, but my mother never did.
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By Hook Or By Book: Book Reviews, News, & Other Stuff said:
My husband and I lived in the same small town we were born in Massachusetts until a couple of years ago when we moved over 1300 miles to Alabama. We did so because of a few reasons such as cost of living, and for the most part we’re extremely happy with our decision. Neither of have any family members we’re close to which definitely helped.
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Stevie Turner said:
Yes, the tie of family members maybe tends to stop people moving home I think?
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