Welcome to this week’s blog hop. Today’s topic is:

Share some of your favourite lines from your writing. How about some of your worst ones if you still remember them?

Here’s a few favourite lines below of a conversation from a published book, and also another conversation from a new one. My worst lines have been deleted and re-written (I hope!):

From the opening chapter of No Sex Please, I’m Menopausal!

“Sorry, but it’s still the same as when I told you the last time and the time before that.  It’s too painful, and I haven’t got a vagina anymore!”  Lyn Fuller sighed as she removed her husband’s wandering hand. “Can’t you just accept it?”

From a clear vantage point between his wife’s legs, Neil Fuller let out an expletive as he risked a quick second glance.

“Yes you have, I can see one!”  His finger pointed directly towards the object of the dispute.

“It’s for exit purposes only.”


“No, that’s the other end.”

“Well, can’t you stick something up there to help?”  He took another glimpse; his erection deflating rapidly as he spoke.

“Wild yam is supposed to do the trick if you can’t take HRT.”

“Eh?  You’ve got to stick a yam up there?”  Neil looked quizzically at the size of the introitus on display, mentally comparing it to the dimensions of the root vegetable.

“Wild yam cream, dickhead.”  She rolled her eyes.


Here’s another conversation from my current WIP, ‘Falling‘, Copyright Stevie Turner 2022, where James explains to Olivia what goes on in prison…

“I have a high powered job cleaning out the bogs where I shovel shit and mop the floor.  I also get an hour’s exercise a day in the yard.  I eat and shower when they tell me to, then listen to Benny snoring and farting all night.”

He enjoyed a brief but heady rush of pleasure at her giggle.

“Sounds peachy.”

“Then I go to lessons.  I want to learn to be an escapologist.”

He watched as she threw her head back and laughed.

“Good luck with that.”

“So… what do you do all day?”  James’ features remained impassive. “Consult with lawyers? Stick pins in my effigy?”

“That’s a great idea.”  Olivia nodded. “I’ll have to look into making one.”


Here are James, Benny and Olivia again, a little further on in the book…

He kicked the door to his cell open, disappointed at the sight of Benny Wainwright who shifted in his bunk and sat up on one elbow.


“Well what?”  James flopped down on a hard chair and stared moodily at the floor. “If you must know, I think she wants to sue me for every penny I haven’t got.”

“Was she a sort?”

“A bit too rich for the likes of you.” James glared at Benny, drooling with lust. “She hasn’t got a trout pout, and I don’t think she’s the type who can name the entire cast of  EastEnders.”

James, desperate for privacy and unable to settle, got to his feet. 

“I’m going to the exercise yard.”


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