Thursday Cite and Insight – Richard Gere on Ageing

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#ageing

I must quote the actor Richard Gere on his thoughts about ageing.  Mr Gere embraced Buddhism some years ago, and at 68 is ageing rather nicely if I may say so…

“I am old but I am forever young at heart.  We are always the same age inside.  Know that you are the perfect age.  Each year is special and precious, you can only live it once.  Do not regret growing older, it’s a privilege denied to many!”

What sense he talks!  Yes, however much we grow older on the outside, we never age inside.  I feel the same inside as I did at 25, isn’t it weird?

What I do regret are the aches and pains of ageing, not the wisdom and insight that time gives us.  What I’d really like is to keep my 60 year old brain and transport it onto a 20 year old body, but then again I expect that’s what the majority of middle-agers will say.  Ageing comes at a price – the joints and muscles complain sometimes, but hey, we know what to do about it.  We’ve got to keep it all moving and make every effort to get out of our armchairs…

Mr Gere, thanks for those words of encouragement.  I view every day as a bonus, as without treatment I wouldn’t have made it past 50 years of age.  I’ve had 13 extra years so far, and have got to know my rather delightful grandchildren.  Perhaps we can meet for tea and crumpets one day and talk about life?  Just leave me your email address in the comments and I’ll be right in touch…

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Cite & Insight Invite – 16th August

Eminem sums it all up beautifully:

“The truth is you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed.”

Yes, life is a crazy ride.  It’s also a short ride.  Time drags while you’re waiting to grow up and do all those forbidden things that adults do, but when you reach maturity it’s scary how quickly the time does fly or how easily a life can be snuffed out.

Take my grandmother Elsie for example.  In the summer of 1967 she went for a nice evening walk to the local park as she always did, but on her way back home was killed by a hit and run driver as she crossed the road.  I’m only 4 years short of the age she was in 1967.  I looked on her as old at the time, and I can hardly believe I’m now almost 60!

Life throws us lemons sometimes.  We’ve all had a lemon or two or even a whole tree full of them.  I certainly have.  The lemon I received was not expected at all, but hey, I had to deal with it.  I’ve had all the treatments I can have for thyroid cancer bar one.  I have no idea whether the cancer will return or not, but in the meantime I’m making the most of whatever time I have left.  I’ve returned to work, bought the holiday home on the Isle of Wight that I’ve always wanted to do, and Sam and I are enjoying being part of our children and grandchildren’s lives.

The crazy ride is not yet over for me – it’s a case of hanging on tight, dodging the lemons as they attempt to knock me down, or trying my best to turn them into sweet lemonade!

 

Thursday Cite & Insight Invite – 20th July

Today’s quote comes from C. JoyBell C, who is the most frequently quoted Author on Goodreads.  She is a leading female thinker and writer, and is a mentor to many modern-day leaders, as well as an inspirational figure to people from all walks of life.

“The only way that we can live, is if we grow. The only way that we can grow is if we change. The only way that we can change is if we learn. The only way we can learn is if we are exposed. And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open. Do it. Throw yourself.”

What I can gather from this is that it’s no good sitting looking at four walls every day.  You’ve got to get out there and dip your toes in the water of life, make contacts, make mistakes and learn how to change to fit into society.  It’s a tall order for some, but who knows what might come of it?

I know somebody who from an early age was allowed by his foster parents to cop out of life, probably because they felt sorry for him.  However, 50 or so years down the line he has still never left home, never worked apart from one day, and never married or even had a girlfriend.  He is friendless, achingly shy, and still lives with his elderly foster mother.  In the past if he didn’t want to go to school, then he didn’t have to.  When he was teased mercilessly on his first day working in a warehouse, he never went back and never looked for work again.  His elderly foster mother still runs around after him, cooking his meals and cleaning.  When she is no longer around, he is going to have a big shock coming unless he throws himself out there now and learns how to cope with life!

Thursday Cite & Insight Invite – 6th July

I laughed when I saw this quote from British composer Sir Arnold Bax:

‘One should try everything once, except incest and folk dancing.’

I thought I’d give a brief list here of things that I would definitely not want to try even once:

• Bungee jumping
• Parachuting
• Eating curry
• Eating chillies
• Driving on a skid pad
• Going on any roller-coaster ride where you have to be encased in a shoulder/body harness
• Trying to walk while wearing high stiletto heels
• Running a 26 mile marathon
• Trying to teach a classroom of 30 children
• Mountain climbing
• Push-ups and pull-ups (no upper body musculature!)
• Being drunk
• Oh yes, ditto for the incest and folk dancing…

How about you?  What would you not want to do even once?

 

Thursday Cite & Insight Invite – 29th June

I’ve just finished reading a psychological thriller, ‘The Girlfriend’ by Michelle Frances, which reminded me of this quote I read a long time ago by D.H Lawrence:

‘A mother is a man’s first, great love’. 

I must admit, ‘The Girlfriend’ is a rather gripping story.  There is Cherry, the estate agent from the wrong side of the tracks, wanting to better herself and forget where she came from, and there is Daniel, trainee doctor and son of wealthy parents, who is looking for a flat in the rich part of London.  To add to this cosy couple there is also Laura, Daniel’s mother, who soon is of the opinion that Cherry is a gold-digger and has taken up with Daniel for what she can get out of him.

It’s the classic daughter-in-law syndrome, and one which I wrote about back in 2015.  Poor Daniel is caught in the middle of a warring mother and girlfriend, wanting them to get on but Laura and Cherry both want Daniel to themselves, and one of them has to lose.

I’ve often found that some men tend to revere their mothers and place them on a pedestal, not wanting to upset them at all, but some daughters might have a more down-to-earth relationship with their mothers and revere their fathers instead.  It all makes for great story-telling, and I thoroughly recommend ‘The Girlfriend’.

 

 

Thursday Cite & Insight Invite – 22nd June

Here’s a good one from American writer Ralph Marston:

‘Rest when you’re weary. Refresh and renew yourself, your body, your mind, your spirit. Then get back to work.’

I’ve had a lovely three years off work, writing when I want to and self-publishing many books, as well as trying to keep fit and undergoing any necessary treatment for thyroid cancer.  However, I’ve come to the conclusion that I want to earn more money than my pension and Amazon royalties are giving me.  Sam doesn’t want me to go back to work, but …. needs must.

On Monday I drove back to the hospital for a meeting with my old manager to enquire about returning as a bank secretary to cover staff holidays and sickness and other times when there is just too much work.  We were soon chatting like I’d never been away, with the end result that I was given a bank contract and I can now work whenever I like, as usually one department or the other is more often than not short-staffed.   At the moment I’ve chosen to work on  Tuesdays and Thursdays only, which should augment my pension a little bit!

I learned a lot from working as a medical secretary.  Bank work will take me into departments I’ve never worked in at all, and so it will keep the old brain active.  I can still write on days when I’m not working (there might be a few less blogs though), so as my youngest son often says… it’s all gravy, baby.

 

 

Thursday Cite & Insight Invite – 15th June

This week I’ve found a quote from the late British novelist Sir Terry Pratchett:

‘It’s not worth doing something unless someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren’t doing it.’

It’s the old ‘rules are made to be broken’ thing, which of course causes much excitement when you’re in the middle of breaking one of them.  In these days of ‘Elf & Safety’ though, the list of rules forbidding you doing anything are becoming longer and longer and harder to ignore.

However, have you ever experienced the thrill of breaking a known rule?  I must admit I can remember one or two episodes as an adventurous 12 year old involving Woolworth’s Pick ‘n Mix display and an apple tree in a farmer’s field, but hey…

Sam deliberately goes out of his way to ignore rules when he thinks they smack too much of the nanny state, but then he always was a bit of a rebel.  Me, I don’t even eat Pick ‘n Mix sweets these days…

 

Thursday Cite & Insight Invite – 8th June

This is a good one from singer and actress Doris Day:

‘The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it.’

Nowadays we can expect to live to around 80 years of age at least.  Of course there are the exceptions (my dad lived to only 49 and  my mum to 92).  Therefore I would say that middle age starts at 40 years and continues maybe to 60 years.  However, the age of retirement is getting later and later, and is set at the moment at 66.  By the time my sons retire, the goalposts could have been moved even further back to 68 or even 70.

So where does middle age end?  I’m almost 60 and would like it to continue to the usual age of retirement, but we have to draw the line somewhere!  I found out when my mum died that doctors can put ‘old age’ on a death certificate any time after age 75 if the person dies of natural causes, and so there’s a black hole between the ages of 60 and 75 in my opinion.  I would think you could call somebody over the age of 70 elderly, but what about the 60 – 70 year olds?  I certainly don’t feel elderly yet, so I’m going to stretch middle age out to 70!

Where do you think middle age starts and ends?

Thursday Cite & Insight Invite – 1st June

I had to laugh at this great quote from Victorian writer Judith Stern, when I saw it in my week-to-view diary:

‘Experience is a comb that life gives you after you lose your hair.’

When the hair starts thinning and the reading glasses appear, then you finally ‘get’ what life is all about.  The understanding of human nature and the insight you have gained over many decades has helped you to realise why you were put upon this earth.  However, can you pass your wisdom onto the next generation?  No you cannot, because they are not listening.

You have your comb at the ready, but you can’t use it!  Arrgh!!!!!

 

Thursday Cite & Insight Invite – 25th May

“I went to a bus station crammed with buses, but only got on the one going my way.” – Roy Stolworthy

So saith a self-published writer on LinkedIn in a discussion I saw recently.  A member of one of the writers’ groups asked whether there were too many authors, and if so, was that the reason why they did not sell very many books?  A couple of replies were to the effect that authors write what they want to write about, and so possibly might fail to write about what is actually trending.  Another, Roy Stolworthy, wrote that he went to a bus station crammed with buses, but only got on the one which was going his way.

I liked the last reply.  It says a lot.  Readers will buy books based on their genre preferences.  I prefer to write novels about family dramas which some call ‘women’s fiction’, so therefore, in theory, should my books appeal to half of the entire world’s population?  It would be great if they did, but as I’m not yet up there in the best-seller lists, maybe some of the women are catching a different bus!

What do you think? Are there too many authors?  I’m starting to think along the lines that no, there are not too many authors, but maybe there are too many free books available.  Readers tend to favour the free books instead of paying even $0.99 for one.  Therefore authors will see decreased sales, although I do tend to see a spike in purchased books when my own KDP free promotions end.  However, I have reduced the number of days that my books are given away for free now. After ‘A House Without Windows’ was free for a weekend in April I had over 1100 downloads and 15 verified purchases the next day, but after ‘Revenge’ was free for a weekend recently I only had 12 downloads and no verified purchases afterwards. There is no rhyme or reason to it, but I still think it’s the number of free books available that might be causing a lack of sales for some authors.

I’d welcome comments on this topic.  ‘A House Without Windows’ is more of a thriller/suspense, whereas ‘Revenge’ is more women’s fiction, so again perhaps the thriller genre is more popular.  There’s my answer then – I need to catch the correct bus and write another thriller!