Younger Men With Older Partners

I had a little hop over to Quora yesterday and found some inspiration for today’s blog.  I read that a mother was wondering if she should allow her 36 year old son to date a 41 year old woman.

My answer was that if she has a 36 year old son, then he is a grown man and whether or not he dates an older woman is up to him.  I expect she was looking ahead to possible future grandchildren, and realised that a 41 year old woman will probably not be providing her with any.

That said, I do know of several relationships which did survive for quite some time (some are still going) where the man’s partner is much older.  For at least 15 years my son’s bandmate Terry, who was in his twenties at the time, lived with a woman who was in her fifties, and they were both extremely happy.  He wanted to be mothered, and she liked to mother him.  In fact she did everything for him, but one day she decided that she had done enough and what Terry needed was to get himself a job and a personal maid.  She moved out of their cosy nest and has never looked back!  Terry got himself a job and now lives alone in filth in his own flat.

My friend’s son is 38 and is married to a woman 8 years older.  They have been married since 2008, have 2 children,  and seem very well suited.  Another chap I know married a woman 15 years older than him against his parents’ wishes.  The marriage lasted for about 10 years, but they are now divorced.  My mother Dot was 4 years older than my dad, but again they were happy until death divided them.

On the whole, do you think that a marriage can last if the man is at least 15 years younger than his wife?  I would imagine it’ll be okay until the man is about 35 and the woman 50, and then perhaps the menopause would send the marriage into a tail-spin?  However, I’m sure there are many happy younger men who have older wives, but to go back to my original paragraph, if a man is 36 years old then in my opinion whomever he goes out with or marries is none of his mother’s business!

See you again on Thursday as I’m at work tomorrow…



Open Book Blog Hop – 16th October

This week the topic is ‘Things that you want to see change in your industry’.

As I view writing as a hobby, I will write instead about the industry that I work in – the NHS.  I started working in my local NHS hospital in 2002, and so I’ll list the changes that I want to see happen there:

    • Two whole wards have closed since 2002, denying 72 patients a hospital bed.  I would like to see those wards re-opened again instead of being used for storage.
    • Car parking fees have risen substantially since I began working at the hospital.  I’d like for there to be no car park fees for staff or visitors.
    • Most staff have to park their cars a mile away (it’s free) and either walk in or catch the shuttle bus.  I’d like to see some of the original staff car parks reinstated, which have all been given over to patients and visitors, who of course have to pay higher parking charges (staff who are allowed to park at the hospital get a discount).
    • I’d like to see less managers in the offices and more nurses on the wards. The nurses who are there are harassed and stressed due to overwork.
    • I’d like to see more secretaries in the offices.  The ones who are there are also harassed and stressed due to overwork (I chose to return a grade lower because I didn’t want or need all the stress of having to do mountains of admin, organising doctors’ annual leave, and answering the phone constantly whilst trying to keep up with the Government’s 3 day target for sending hundreds of typed clinic letters out).
    • I’d like to see some proper geriatric wards built, so that there is not a constant bed shortage.  Elderly people make up the majority of hospital admissions, and there should be proper provision for them.  If we don’t die young, then we are going to grow old and frail and need hospital care.  It’s a fact of life.
    • I’d like doctors to dictate clinic letters slowly and clearly, and not yawn, eat, gabble or mumble as they’re dictating, or assume we all know to whom they want the letter sent (“Send this to everybody” is a good example of what I’ve had in the past!).
    • I’d like the NHS to be more about patient care and less about money.

What would you like to see changed in your industry?  Click the link below to view other blog-hoppers’ thoughts or add your own blog (the blue button doesn’t seem to work this week!):
1. Link your blog to this hop.
2. Notify your following that you are participating in this blog hop.
3. Promise to visit/leave a comment on all participants’ blogs.
4. Tweet/or share each person’s blog post. Use #OpenBook when tweeting.
5. Put a banner on your blog that you are participating.

Review of ‘Words We Carry’, by D.G Kaye


, ,

Amazon Book Description:

D.G. Kaye takes us on a journey, unlocking the hurts of the past by identifying situations that hindered her own self-esteem. Her anecdotes and confessions demonstrate how the hurtful events in our lives linger and set the tone for how we value our own self-worth.
Words We Carry is a raw, personal accounting of how the author overcame the demons of low self-esteem with the determination to learn to love herself.

My Review:

5 stars

The dysfunctional childhood suffered by author D.G Kaye has left her with great insight into the human condition, which she writes about with much accumulated wisdom in her inspirational non-fiction book ‘Words We Carry’.  We read how parents, teachers, and events in our childhood shape the adults that we become.  I suffered quite a few similar events in my own childhood that the author did, and found the whole book excellent and eerily uncanny to my own life experiences.

Ms Kaye believes, just as I do, that we should put on a smile, think positive thoughts, and dress to please ourselves and not others.  It doesn’t matter if we are not blessed with outward beauty, a happy and friendly demeanour will shine through and attract new friends.  Beauty is as beauty does; nobody gets pleasure from being around a miserable complainer, even though they may be the best looking person for miles around.

By the time the reader reaches the last page, they would have the recipe in their hands to give their self-esteem a huge boost.  Over the years I have learned to feel comfortable in my own skin, just like the author had to, and to ignore or walk away from people whose only aim in life was to make disparaging comments in order to make me feel bad about myself.

I received this book in a free promotion, but I will definitely read it again.  Thoroughly recommended!

Do you know the visibility of your website?

Thanks Jean for this info!

Jean's Writing

Want to know how your blog is doing?

Well, there is an easy, great way to assess, improve and create a better website.

After reading the post from Story Empire Blog below, I followed one of the links provided (WEBSITE GRADER) and here is what I discovered about my blog.

Yay, at last, I managed to get the security part right. But let’s look a little deeper.

First up Performance, grade 22/30.

Hmm, looks like my HTTP requests need to come down. But not bad.

Uh Oh, got an X. I must confess that JavaScript and CSS stuff always leaves me scratching my head. But this weekend I will read up a little on it. After all who wants an X?

Alright, alright! 30/30 on Mobile! Moving on…

To SEO. Another scary, confusing acronym that totally baffles me. No wonder my website scored 15/30 AND received a big fat X in two…

View original post 158 more words

The ten authors of Indie Publishing Coalition Presents….

Check out these stories from my Open Book Bloghopper friends…

cherime Macfarlane

Stories of Sun, Sand & Sea – Mistletoe & Palm Trees. 

Makes for ten holiday celebrations like none other. Sunny skies. Check. Palm Trees. Check. Beaches. Maybe. Family. Sometimes. Love and Romance. Double Check. Scrumptious food and a few cocktails. Triple Check. Murder. At least one.




Ten novellas written with heart felt holiday spirit that will make you laugh, bring tears to your eyes, warmth to your soul, intrigue to your psyche, with just enough romance to make you wish for more.

Available For Preorder Now! 

Celebrate with us! The ten authors of Indie Publishing Coalition Presents….

The Stories of Sun, Sand & Sea – Mistletoe & Palm Trees Boxed Set Inclusions!

Judith Lucci: Biloxi Beach Murders (Book 2)

Kat, who finishes her graduate degree in Art History in December, travels from…

View original post 2,583 more words

Friday Roundup -13th October

1.  Thanks to Blake Attwood at The Write Life for this info on saving your work:

2.  Rosie Amber writes about star ratings:

3.  Sandra Beckwith on Build Books Buzz writes regarding hidden hooks/pitches in your fiction story:

4.  Thanks to Aurorawatcherak for these business resources:

5.  Thanks again to Sandra Beckwith on Build Books Buzz for this blog on book publicity:

6.  Mercy Pilkington at Good E Reader informs us of a new collaboration to help Indie authors:

7.  Thanks to Joan Stewart for this blog on book promotion via Goodreads:

8.  Anna del C. Dye on A Writer’s Path gives some book promotion tips:

16 Ideas of How to Promote Your Book Before and During Launch

9.  RJ Crayton on Indies Unlimited asks whether authors should use chapter titles:

10.  Meg Dowell writes about what nobody tells you about landing your first writing job:

What No One Tells You About Landing Your First Writing Job

11.  Want to join the writing club on A Writer’s Path?  Click below for details:


Thanks to Chris, the Story Reading Ape,  Jean’s Writing, Nesie’s Place, How To EBook, Anita Dawes & Jaye Marie,  and  Don Massenzio for the re-blogs.

In Sickness and in Health

Sam had a bit of a raw deal when he married me as regards the sickness bit – on and off for the last 12 years he’s had to help me through much unpleasant treatment for thyroid cancer, which he has done willingly and with a good heart.  He has sat up with me all night in hospital, dressed my wounds, has done his share of bedpan duty, and has even tried to replicate the scene in ‘Out of Africa’ several times when Robert Redford washed Meryl Streep’s hair, although we weren’t on safari at the time and he’s somewhat lacking in quotes from the ‘Rime of the Ancient Mariner’.

Now it’s my turn.  Sam works at home as Tech Support for an American company, and they have a week in July where all the employees get together in the US for Sales Week.  When he arrived there this year, the first Sunday was set aside as a team-building day.  Sam ran around like a 16 year old, playing what sounded to me like a game of ‘Rounders’.  When he stepped up the pace to reach the last post he felt something ‘snap’ in his leg, and had to hobble off the field.  He thought at first he had pulled a calf muscle, but the injury did not heal.  The GP diagnosed a ruptured Achilles tendon a fortnight ago, and now he has to have a general anaesthetic, two hours of surgery and a muscle graft to correct the damage.  His ankle and lower leg will be in a plaster cast for at least 6 weeks, and he’ll have to get about on crutches.

Sam revels in being the strong one, and he hates being dependent upon anybody.  He’s already apologising for the fact that I’m going to be driving him to the hospital and sitting with him until he’s stopped circling the airport.  I try and tell him that I want to do it and it’s the least I can do, to pay him back for all he’s done for me.  However, I can tell he’s not happy.  Oh dear – he’s going to be a miserable patient!  He’s already sighing because he won’t be able to climb a ladder in order to turn the garden into a fairy grotto this Christmas.

When he broke his arm back in 1979 he wasn’t able to work.  Apparently he wandered around the streets in his cast while I was at work,  looking dolefully into shop windows.  At least this time he can work to take his mind off the situation, sitting at his desk at home and talking to customers on Skype, although not travelling out to them.  I tentatively mentioned getting Dot’s old wheelchair down from the loft in case it’s needed for the first few days, but the look on his face tells me that it’s never going to happen.

Any advice on how to deal with somebody who has never had a thing wrong with them in 60 years apart from a broken arm and the odd cold or sore throat, but who is going to be somewhat incapacitated until at least Christmas?  As we get older, the ‘in sickness and in health bit’ is now starting to bite just a little bit.  Any suggestions would be gratefully received!




Outshining Ovarian Cancer (Guest Post)

Well done Karen – we are both cancer survivors!

When Women Inspire

Karen Ingalls is a voracious writer and a powerful voice in raising awareness for ovarian cancer. I want to thank her for graciously accepting my offer to guest post here. The following post details her personal cancer journey and offers important detection information. Let’s give Karen our support with her guest post:

View original post 921 more words

Voices in Your Head?

Have YOU heard voices too?

anita dawes and jaye marie


My first book, The Ninth Life came into being mainly because I became intrigued by the notion that most of us hear voices in our heads at one time or another.

From Pinocchio to Joan of Arc, people have been hearing things and sometimes a little voice can change history, and not always for the best.

Kate Devereau, the ageing artist in my book, has been hearing a voice all her life. Never sure if this is good or evil, she makes a point of ignoring everything it says. Would her life have turned out differently if she hadn’t?

Some people call this the voice of our conscience, a bit like Jiminy Cricket, but how many of us really listen or even obey its commands?

I personally don’t hear any voices, but sometimes I just know I should have done things differently, and have suffered the consequences…

When I researched…

View original post 343 more words

Book Review of ‘The Bigamist’, by Mary Turner Thompson

Mary Turner  Thompson has won the accolade ‘Best Seller’ for this book, and the coveted little orange badge.  You will understand why when you read her story, which I give 4 STARS to:


Mary Turner Thompson is an intelligent woman and is now a full time author, but started out as a marketing consultant, business adviser and motivational trainer.  She had a good career and her own home, but had the bad luck to be taken in by an extremely manipulative con-man.

Will Jordan had charm and good looks, and he knew how to use them to get what he wanted.  He also had an insatiable need for vast amounts of cash, with no scruples about how he would go about obtaining it.  Once he had wooed and wedded Mary he systematically set about relieving her of her life savings, which she gladly gave to him as the explanations he gave for needing the money seemed so plausible.  He also tended to disappear for long periods of time, even missing the births of his children,  but was always full of remorse on his return.  There would be another believable excuse, and Mary was certain he was telling the truth until she received a phone call one day.

When she picked up the receiver there was a woman on the other end of the line claiming that Will was still married to her, and that they had 5 children together.  Slowly and surely Mary began to dig into Will’s past, and came to realise that her husband was not the man she thought she had married.  What she found out about Will Jordan shocked her to the core.

Can you really know another person?  Ladies, beware of good-looking, charming men who seem a little light in the wallet area, that’s all I can say.  Poor Mary had to learn this lesson the hard way.  I must admit I probably would have been suspicious much sooner, but then again I never met him thankfully.

It’s my own 37th wedding anniversary today.  Most couples have problems somewhere along the line and we have certainly had ours, but I know I have a good man in Sam.  Ms Turner Thompson was taken in by a practised liar and by somebody who has absolutely no morals or decency.  I only hope that she eventually finds a partner who can restore her faith in human nature.