I had a little hop over to Quora yesterday and found some inspiration for today’s blog. I read that a mother was wondering if she should allow her 36 year old son to date a 41 year old woman.
My answer was that if she has a 36 year old son, then he is a grown man and whether or not he dates an older woman is up to him. I expect she was looking ahead to possible future grandchildren, and realised that a 41 year old woman will probably not be providing her with any.
That said, I do know of several relationships which did survive for quite some time (some are still going) where the man’s partner is much older. For at least 15 years my son’s bandmate Terry, who was in his twenties at the time, lived with a woman who was in her fifties, and they were both extremely happy. He wanted to be mothered, and she liked to mother him. In fact she did everything for him, but one day she decided that she had done enough and what Terry needed was to get himself a job and a personal maid. She moved out of their cosy nest and has never looked back! Terry got himself a job and now lives alone in filth in his own flat.
My friend’s son is 38 and is married to a woman 8 years older. They have been married since 2008, have 2 children, and seem very well suited. Another chap I know married a woman 15 years older than him against his parents’ wishes. The marriage lasted for about 10 years, but they are now divorced. My mother Dot was 4 years older than my dad, but again they were happy until death divided them.
On the whole, do you think that a marriage can last if the man is at least 15 years younger than his wife? I would imagine it’ll be okay until the man is about 35 and the woman 50, and then perhaps the menopause would send the marriage into a tail-spin? However, I’m sure there are many happy younger men who have older wives, but to go back to my original paragraph, if a man is 36 years old then in my opinion whomever he goes out with or marries is none of his mother’s business!
See you again on Thursday as I’m at work tomorrow…