Both of my grandmothers were born in 1903, and by the time they were my age it was the early 1960’s. The early memories I have of them throughout the 1960’s are deep-rooted, and I thought I’d share just how different their lives were then compared to how I live now. However, to live the way they did in the poor East End of London was normal for them, but as I look back now I realise just how little they had.
My maternal grandmother lived on the third floor of a small block of flats. Her flat had a kitchen, two bedrooms, a living room and a small toilet. There was no bathroom. The kitchen table was attached to the wall with hinges, and it lifted up to reveal a bath underneath! Years later after her death I heard that a bathroom was fitted. I would love to go back there now and see where on earth they put it!
Nan had no fridge, no phone and no washing machine, but she did have a gramophone (record player/radio) which took up most of one half of the living room. The flat was heated by open fires. If she bought milk it was the long-life variety, which she kept in a bowl of cold water. I loved staying at her flat overnight. She would take me for a walk to the local park, where we would watch open-air ballroom dancing and giggle all night, or we would visit her sister who lived nearby. Nan would kick her shoes off walking along the road, and I would run after them in delight and fetch them back like a puppy. She would make strange noises and make up words, and I miss her to this day. She was killed by a hit-and-run driver in 1967.
My paternal grandmother had 16 brothers and sisters, who all lived nearby. My father said as a child he could not do anything without one of his aunts or uncles reporting back to his mother. I remember my great-aunts as all being short, dark and plump, just as my grandmother was. Nan and Granddad lived on the top floor of a 3-storey house, and two of her sisters and their families occupied the lower floors. I could throw things out of the window to Nan’s niece Pam, who would catch them from her upstairs flat opposite. Rain dripped through the roof, and Nan calmly collected it in a bucket and thought nothing of it. They had 3 rooms; a kitchen, a bedroom, and a front room, and they brought their 3 children up there. There was no phone and no washing machine, although Nan did have a fridge. For an outing Nan and her sisters would take their washing to the local launderette and make a morning of it. As children my father and his brother slept on camp beds in the front room, and their younger sister slept in another bed in the same room as their parents. There was an outside toilet downstairs in a small yard, which all 3 families shared, and a coal-hole next door which stored coal for the open fires. The kitchen was always full of Nan’s sisters all chatting away, while Granddad would read silently in one corner. After she was widowed and all the houses in the street were due for demolition, Nan cried at the thought of having to move into a much better flat with an inside bathroom and toilet!
Both grandmothers had immediate family living close by, who offered much help and support at the drop of a hat. Nowadays younger generations of the family are much more widespread, but funnily enough none of us now live in the East End of London. It’s a different place now to how I remember it, although we sometimes do go back to visit Roman Road market. I find myself looking out for familiar faces of grandparents and aunts and uncles that I used to see as a child while wandering along the stalls with my mother, but of course they are no longer with us. I think that’s the main reason I don’t go back so often…it’s too depressing!
These days I am a grandmother myself four times over. I think I’m going to be remembered for teaching my 2 granddaughters the song ‘You Cant Always Get What You Want’ by the Rolling Stones, bribing them with a pound to drink a cup of green tea, and walking them down to the local library and coming back with armfuls of books while skipping over the cracks in the pavement so as not to disturb the bogey man. I think my eldest grandson may remember me as someone eager to make a pile-up of Hotwheel cars…
D. Wallace Peach said:
You sound like a fun grandmother. They are certainly important people in the lives of their grandchildren. I didn’t really recognize the struggles of my grandparents’ generation until I was older. Throughout my childhood, they were just people who loved me. 🙂
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joanneeddy said:
Loved this story of your grandparents and your Stones “lullaby.” It also reminded me of my only grandmother, (maternal). Sadly, yet helpfully, due to a ten thousand dollar death benefit from Uncle Teddy’s death in Korea, my grandmother, though a widow by then, was able to buy a two family home with two flats. My mother’s other brother, Eddie, a policeman, and his family lived downstairs and Grammie had the upstairs. My mom bought her a rigger washing machine and later when my Aunt got an automatic one she wouldn’t use it because she didn’t think it got clothes clean enough! There were bathrooms in both flats with the old claw footed tubs. When we would go to visit I would sleep with her, my mother and father in the other bedroom and my sister on the couch. My family had the typical 50s home in the suburbs about 3 hours away, but going to Grammie’s house meant cousins all around, games of hide and seek,handball or “Pig” at the schoolyard across the busy main street with all the other cousins who would come for big parties. Adults and kids played games together, we’d all go to the beach, and I would have loved to live nearer to them. Thanks for the memories, Stevie!
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Stevie Turner said:
Thanks Bernadette. I’ll check it out tomorrow. I’ve been out for the evening and am closing down for the day now.
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Bernadette said:
OOPS, I forget about the time difference.
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mariaholm said:
I too loved this post on the modest lives of your grandparents. Just imagine that they were satisfied with little
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Stevie Turner said:
As we should be. Thank you.
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Bernadette said:
My grandparents were my very best favorite people in the whole world and I miss them to this day. It is amazing, just as you wrote, how much fun and laughter filled their homes and yet they lived very meagerly. I remember my Grandmom taking me to the farm and getting fresh eggs and milk and our big treat wa a John Wayne movie. She had a big crush on him. I had to laugh at the Stones song. I always sang that to my own children and now my son sings it to his own children at the appropriate moments and starts it out with well MeMe always told me, “You can’t….
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Stevie Turner said:
It’s great for diffusing tension!
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Bernadette said:
Stevie, Marie has a great post on postpartum depression at the Salon today. I know you are doing some research on mental illness. It is a different slant.
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sknicholls said:
I enjoyed this. Mine are young yet, but I think the middle one will remember me as that mean old woman who used to read to me and make me fall asleep when I didn’t want to take a nap.
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Claremary P. Sweeney said:
I loved this post. It brought warm feelings to me. I grew up in a suburb of post WW2 cape and ranch houses in New England. My grandmother lived with us after my grandfather died. My mother’s siblings all lived nearby and yes, we could not move without being reported on.
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Stevie Turner said:
Thank you.
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piratepatty said:
such wonderful memories! I hope I can be an inspiration to my grandchildren, giving them memories that last a lifetime! Great post1
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Stevie Turner said:
Yes, Nan had all her family around her; sisters, brothers, in-laws, nieces and nephews. When the slums were cleared the families were scattered and life for her was never the same again.
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robjodiefilogomo said:
What great memories!! I think what really stands out to me, is how it really doesn’t matter how big your house is or how much money you have—-the important aspect is the love for others!! jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
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Stevie Turner said:
My grandmother was distraught at leaving it, but in reality it was a slum. Sad really, but she was never really happy in her new flat, although it had every amenity the other flat lacked.
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franklparker said:
Another lovely post. Thanks Stevie. My parents were Londoners (Stoke Newington) but thanks to the war I had the pleasure of growing u in the rural South West Herefordshire. I remember my Mum’s Uncle’s flat in Hammersmith with a layout very similar to the one you describe.
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writeanne said:
Lovely post! My two grandmothers were from similar era to yours (1890 and 1905). They were both a big positive influence on me – especially my maternal granny who wrote and told us children’s stories. They were both from poor backgrounds and my paternal grandmother spent much of her childhood in an orphanage in Edinburgh. My father grew up in an Edinburgh flat that sounds similar to your father’s.
I like the sound of your ‘legacy’ to your own grandchildren – good on you with the Stones’ song. So far I’ve taught my wee ones ‘Head, shoulders, knees and toes’ and ‘The sun has got its hat on’. Must try harder. 🙂
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Stevie Turner said:
The Stones’ song makes them laugh every time they can’t get their own way. It avoids kiddy meltdowns!
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Clive said:
Lovely to have those happy memories. They show that people can make the best of whatever they have, and that a community spirit develops if it is given the chance. 21st century life doesn’t seem to work like that, in general.
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Stevie Turner said:
Yes, the community spirit was strong. Mothers chatted at the street doors while the children played in the street. Nowadays children are stuck in their bedrooms with virtual friends and people keep themselves to themselves. It’s sad.
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