ALL CLOGGED UP, BY STEVIE TURNER
Where the snow falls and the skiers ski
That’s where you’ll find my son.
He’s left us a little present behind,
A tortoise; name of Sheldon.
Sheldon eats salad and fruit,
He loves broccoli, tomato and greens,
However, my son advised
He also likes baked beans.
I stuff Sheldon full of lettuce and cress
As you would normally do,
But Sheldon has a problem…
He doesn’t seem to pooh.
Every day the straw stays dry and clean
I talk to my son on Skype
About how nothing is coming
Out of Sheldon’s exhaust pipe.
“He doesn’t go every day”,
Is the advice I am told.
But four days have passed
Since anything came out of Sheldon’s arse.
I eat some beans on toast
And give Sheldon the dregs of the tin.
Within a few hours their wizardry
Puts us out of our misery.
There on the straw is a parcel
From Sheldon, the little blighter.
Thank goodness for baked beans,
Sheldon’s now two pounds lighter!