This week we’re imagining that we can step into the world of one of our novels and interview the characters. What would we ask them? What would they say?
I thought about this one long and hard, and decided to interview Arla Deane, the character from my novel ‘The Daughter-in-law Syndrome’.
Stevie: Hello Arla. I’d like to ask you about your mother-in-law and your daughter-in-law today.
Arla (grinning): Oh dear; well – if you must!
Stevie: What is it about grown men and their mothers?
Arla: I don’t know, but it seems that my husband Ric will go out of his way not to displease his mother Edna. He tells her exactly what he knows she wants to hear, which is not necessarily what he should be telling her.
Stevie: What about his own mother-in-law?
Arla: He’s always been jealous of the relationship I have with my own mum; I think he just wants to keep me all to himself.
Stevie: I hear you both went for counselling. Did it do any good?
Arla: It got us talking a bit more, but at the end of the day Ric will always be Ric. I don’t think he’s ever going to change. When Edna’s with us I feel second best.
Stevie: Do you think there may be a cause to his behaviour?
Arla: I think there’s a reason why he’s like it, but in all our thirty years of marriage I have never found out what it is. He just clams up or changes the subject.
Stevie: Does Edna like you?
Arla: She’s only ever tolerated me. I’m afraid I gave up trying to please her years ago.
Stevie: Do you get on with your own daughter-in-law?
Arla: Ria and Stuart aren’t married yet, so she’s technically not my daughter-in-law. She seems all out for an easy life to me; have babies and then give up her supermarket assistant job and live off Stuart.
Stevie: Oh. Are they happy?
Arla: Deliriously so. It’s strange, but we always wanted the exact opposite for Stuart; a smart, career wife who’d be an asset to him. It must be all the sex; he might change his mind in a few months.
Stevie: We can’t interfere with our children’s choice of partner, much as we would like. Is Ria pleasant to you?
Arla: Yes, she’s invited Ric and I to Sunday lunch. I can see she’s really trying to get to know us.
Stevie: Wait and see then. You may be amazed.
Arla (sighing): I certainly hope so.
Stevie: I have an inkling that quite a big surprise is coming your way in regards to Ric, Ria and Edna. How do you feel about that?
Arla: Bring it on! I’ve waited thirty years for it!
If you’d like to find out what happens to Arla, please click on the BookShowMe link above in order to obtain a copy of ‘The Daughter-in-law Syndrome’.
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Stevie Turner 
I’m happy to say that I have a wonderful Mother-in-Law and great relationships with my daughters-in-law. But, I’ve heard and witnessed horror stories about other’s who are not so lucky. Very sad.
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Goodness me, you’ve gone through it as well! I could go into a long diatribe about what I’ve had to suffer with my own mother-in-law, but I won’t bore you with the details. Suffice to say we don’t talk to each other much at all really. I visit with Sam a few times a year, and we are ultra polite to each other. I know that whatever I say or do will be twisted into some sort of lie and reported back to her own daughters, one of whom unfortunately believes every word she says. I can’t win as the daughter-in-law, and so I just try and stay out of it now. It’s much better that way!
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Yes, mother-in-laws are so … challenging. Brad is blessed in that my parents were older when they had me, so he’s never had to deal with parent-inlaws. His mother, however …. I have forgiven her. I have forgiven her. I have forgiven her.
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When I became a mother-in-law myself I had already learned what NOT to do by learning from my own one. I quickly decided to nod, smile often, compliment my daughters-in-law frequently on their childrearing skills, and offer no advice on anything unless asked. So far it’s worked. My daughters-in-law are still speaking to me!
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My goal is to get along with my children’s spouses. Neither are technically married yet. Kyle is only 17 and likes girls a lot, but hasn’t proceeded beyond the kissing stage yet, which we believe is healthy. He doesn’t need to get serious and share such intimacy with a girl at this stage of his life.
Our daughter is 23 and a gypsy bluegrass musician. Her boyfriend seems quite content to live out of his van and work odd jobs to make gas money to their next gig. Bri says she has plans for the future — schooling and whatnot. We recognize that her guy is derailing those plans, but I for one try to stay very far off that conversation. Oddly, it is her brother who has the serious “What do you plan to do with your life?” conversations with her.
My husband’s mother is a borderline personality disorder, so she has been challenging. She lived with us for a while until she filed charges against me for domestic abuse because I told her, during a heated conversation with Bri, that I didn’t need her advice on how to have a conversation with my daughter so please stay out of it. The court recognized “Nora” was making up tales and lifted the restraining order, but I don’t much trust her any more. Brad’s on my side on that.
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