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Yesterday I went to Addenbrooke’s hospital for the first of eventually 47 radiotherapy and consultant review appointments, which will thankfully end on 25th May. I had no idea of what was coming, and looking back, I think ignorance was probably a good thing.
I was aware that ‘at some point’ in the near future, my protective mask was going to be made. This turned out to be yesterday. I was shown a flat outline of a head and shoulders in some unknown breathable material which was attached to a frame, and told that it was to be heated up in a container of hot water and then placed on my face. This would cause the material to mould itself to my facial contours, but apparently I would still be able to breathe (how reassuring).
This is where the exercise for the mind comes into play. I am slightly claustrophobic, and as I lay flat on the CT scanner, I was told to close my eyes. I dutifully complied with a racing heart, and then what can only be described as a thick hot blanket came down on my face. As the heat left the blanket and it started to harden, the doctor and nurse clamped the frame to the CT scanner, rendering my head and shoulders totally immobile. I then laid like this for at least 15 minutes while they scanned my neck and made marks on the mask regarding the area they wanted to treat.
I started to try and take myself away from my plight. I imagined my newly-purchased holiday home, and the journey along the M11, M25 and A3 that I would need to make to get there. Then I imagined myself and Sam sitting on the decking with a drink to watch the sun set. Then I tried to work out how much 47 years of site fees would cost, but failed miserably as I am number illiterate. The time dragged endlessly by, and I realised that every time I presented for treatment, I would have to go through exactly the same thing, except that for future appointments the mask would have already been made.
Apparently I can take some CD’s with me for next time and concentrate on the music, which I might have done yesterday had they warned me what was going to happen. Ugh, the whole process is horrific. The only good thing about thyroid cancer treatment (or any other cancer treatment for that matter) is that you learn how to endure.
If you were in my position laid flat on a CT scanner with the hated mask over your face, what would you do? I’d love to know!
cathleentownsend said:
I have no idea what I’d do, probably something quite similar. I will pray for you, though–that you become healthy and free of these treatments.
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Stevie Turner said:
Thank you Cathleen.
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Bernadette said:
Oh Stevie, what a torment you have to go through this spring. I hope the days of treatment fly by and are hugely successful. When I have had brain MRI’s and have been unable to move, I meditate or say the rosary (which really is a form of meditation). Stay well my friend.
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Stevie Turner said:
Thanks Bernadette. I’m looking forward to 10th May when it will all be over!
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Bernadette said:
May the days pass swiftly and calmly.
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Stevie Turner said:
Thanks Bernadette.
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Clive said:
Music seems a good option. Have you ever tried audiobooks? They aren’t to everyone’s liking but would offer some variety. I wish you lots of luck with the treatment, and hope it goes well for you.
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Stevie Turner said:
Cheers Clive. I’ve just ordered an audio book today.
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Clive said:
Glad to hear it. I rather enjoy them, but my daughters used to raise their eyebrows and tell me they were for old people 😂
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Stevie Turner said:
I probably am old as far as your daughters are concerned, so it’s all good!
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Darlene said:
I am afraid I would not have been as brave as you. I am very claustrophobic and they would have had to put me under or given me drugs. Sending you huge hugs and many positive thoughts. ❤
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Stevie Turner said:
Thanks Darlene. I’m building a collection of soothing CD’s to aid me as I lay in the scanner. There’s plenty of people worse off than me, and I am determined to get through this and enjoy my holiday home.
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Darlene said:
Your positive attitude is commendable and will be the best healer!
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Bette A. Stevens said:
Music sounds like a plan.
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Fabiola Garcia said:
So sorry to hear that you have to go through that treatment. I had been on a CT Scam machine twice and already learn to keep my eyes close during the whole procedure. For me is so scary, that I feel like screaming. Get well soon.
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Stevie Turner said:
Thank you.
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thejuicenut said:
Audiobooks are probably better than music as you will be able to escape into them, unless you find guided meditation cds helpful. You need something that will force you to concentrate on something else. I’m not sure how these would be managed, as at some point the audiobook cd would need to be changed, or perhaps you can get them on Audible? I use audiobooks from the library. Word of advice: make sure the discs are all clean so they don’t get stuck! That’s a lot of appointments, hopefully when you’re more used to them you’ll be able to switch off automatically and the time will go faster. Big hug 🤗
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Stevie Turner said:
Thank you. With each treatment will feel worse until about June time I think, when I should start to feel better.
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thejuicenut said:
I’m sorry you have to go through this 😕💜🌷
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Stevie Turner said:
Me too.
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franklparker said:
Not something any of us would enjoy. Music is always a good bet. Listening to an audio book might not be a good idea – you might have to stop just when something exciting was about to happen. I think I’d probably be working out a scene from whatever WIP was current.
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watchingthedaisies said:
I think I might feel like letting go of a loud scream but I would probably try very hard to let go and meditate. If I knew in advance I would have everyone praying …
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Stevie Turner said:
First one is 27th March!
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watchingthedaisies said:
I hope it all goes smoothly. X
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Stevie Turner said:
Thanks.
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robjodiefilogomo said:
It probably is good that you didn’t know all of the specifics, Stevie.
I wish you the bestest luck!
I think music is probably the only thing you could use that would help….
jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
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Stevie Turner said:
Thanks Jodie, yes I’ll take along some CD’s.
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Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC said:
Jumped over from the Senior Salon
~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh Stevie, I am so sorry that you are going through this ordeal. As a cancer survivor, my empathy and prayers are with you.
I suggest downloading some podcasts – especially a few good interview shows like the ones I listen to on Dr. Ginger Campbell’s Brain Science and Books and Ideas Podcasts, and putting them on CD’s to take along. Music is soothing, but information and “conversation” focus the mind and are likely to make you feel less isolated. The iTunes Store has podcasts on practically any topic you can imagine – many, if not most, for free.
“Books on tape” (Audible dot com) might be a good idea too. New users can download one for free. Imagine how many books you will be able to go through by the time you are finished with your series of treatments and radiantly healthy again!
xx,
mgh
(Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMORE dot com)
ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder
“It takes a village to educate a world!”
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Stevie Turner said:
Thanks Madelyn, I’m going to buy an audiobook or two. I think you’re right in that listening to a story is more likely to work than listening to music because you have to concentrate more.
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Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC said:
More likely to make the time pass a bit faster as well.
Be gentle with yourself through this period – and make sure those you live with know to expect some cognitive struggles as time goes on – common with cancer treatments, and good to expect it so you don’t think something else is wrong. They’ll need to step up increasingly to help you all get to the other side of a truly daunting experience. My prayers are with you.
xx,
mgh
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Stevie Turner said:
Thanks Madelyn for your advice and insight.
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Madelyn Griffith-Haynie, MCC, SCAC said:
You are most welcome — just one thought among many, I’m sure, who are concerned for you.
xx,
mgh
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Osyth said:
Bon courage and chapeau for writing about the ordeal. You are so right that Cancer treatment is that it forces endurance. My warmest wishes for a good outcome and the fortitude to bear the treatment with as little anxiety as possible
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Stevie Turner said:
Thank you. It forces endurance because you do not have any choice but to undergo it.
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Osyth said:
I understand and I am sincere in my wishes to you ☺
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D.E. Haggerty said:
Music is a good option but I’d go for podcasts that you really have to concentrate on to get your mind off what’s happening. Just an idea. I can’t imagine the sheer terror I would feel. Two MRIs nearly did me in. You’re so brave. Keep strong!
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