Have you ever wondered just what your child is doing all day while they’re at school?
When my own two sons were youngsters and attending a certain school which shall be nameless, I found out what they were doing when, bored at home, I innocently offered to help the children with reading who were struggling. Initially I was told ‘not to correct them and interrupt their flow even though they might make many mistakes’, because apparently constant correction ‘breaks down their self confidence’.
I couldn’t see the point of helping children to read if I couldn’t correct their mistakes, so I decided not to go down this route . I offered instead to help with painting – mixing up the paints and getting easels ready etc. On my first day as a volunteer in my youngest son’s class of 5 year olds, I could see that all the children were just wandering around or running about aimlessly, while the teacher was fighting a losing battle to try and control the class.
On subsequent visits to my eldest son’s class I could see that all the children did for the majority of the day was colouring. These were 9 year old children, who should have been learning the three R’s at least.
Horrified, I decided to take both boys out of the school and send them instead to another junior school outside of our catchment area which I’d found out had a good name. This involved applying to the council for the move, and giving my reasons why I wanted to take them out. This made me very unpopular with all the other mothers at the school, some of whom to this day still do not talk to me! However, my boys came on in leaps and bounds at their new school. I was told in confidence by their new head teacher that children from the boys’ original school were very easy to spot at the upper school, as they tended to lag behind. In private the vicar applauded my move and told me he was moving away rather than having to send his 4 year old daughter to a school where the children were mainly left to their own devices.
In time the teachers at my sons’ original school left. I wasn’t sure if they had been sacked, resigned of their own accord, or decided to move to another school. After a few years the school improved, but by then my sons were at the upper school.
So if you ever wonder what your children are doing all day at school, volunteer your services and find out! It was a real eye-opener for me.
Jennie said:
Yes, volunteer! As a teacher, I welcome parents into my classroom. After all, a child is part of a family, and if I get to know the family, I can better understand and teach the child. We need to partner to best teach and love children.
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Stevie Turner said:
Too true. During my time as a parent of young children I came to the conclusion that many parents just want to dump their kids off at school, and run.
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Jennie said:
Sadly, many feel that way and do just that. In my class, parents have to come in to drop off and pick up their child. That gives me (and them) opportunities to connect.
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Stevie Turner said:
Good idea. When my eldest was in infant school 30 years’ ago, us mothers were told not to come into the classroom and let the children find their own way there to give them a little bit of independence.
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Jennie said:
What?! A helicopter parent needs that, and it’s true that children do better in the classroom without their parent, but common sense says a transition is necessary.
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Stevie Turner said:
I found it strange, but that’s the way it was.
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dgkaye said:
Excellent post Stevie. I’m a hands on type of person so I just know if I had children I’d have done the same as you – volunteer, check out the surroundings, and make a beeline dash for it if things were not to my standards. 🙂
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Stevie Turner said:
I just had to do it. It didn’t make me very popular with the mothers. They regarded me as ‘That Londoner’ I think. After nearly 30 years some of them are still a bit cold, but generally I think I’ve finally been accepted!
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dgkaye said:
And if you haven’t – who cares? We don’t need judgmental people in our lives anyway, and you were protecting your children. Thumbs up from me! 🙂
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Stevie Turner said:
Cheers Debby.
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Clive said:
We’ve spoken on this recently on my blog, so you know that I agree with you 😊
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Darlene said:
Children always do better in school when the parents are somewhat involved. I would attend bring your parent to school days and felt so bad for the children whose parents weren’t there and sat alone, looking dejected. I worked full-time but managed to get away, if even only on my lunch break. It is the only way to know how things are going at school. I also took my son out of one school and put him in another, with better results. Not all teachers are good teachers and not all schools are good schools.
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Stevie Turner said:
Too true.
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tidalscribe said:
I had many hours volunteering. First child at first school – it was ‘open plan’ – wonder if they still do that – and parents were always complaining as the childen seemed to run riot. Luckily we moved to the other side of the motorway and the new school was run by Miss Thompson, who treated the parents like children, but did run a tight ship! My son was much hqppier there.
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Stevie Turner said:
My sons were too when I changed schools. I think they somehow knew they weren’t supposed to be running around or colouring all day.
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