Thanks for the laugh to whoever wrote these. I needed that!

Barb Taub

[Confession: I have no idea who wrote these, although I have many suspects. They were forwarded to me by my friend Sharon Shenhav, who has no shame.—Barb]


Here are the official Corona virus guidelines:

  1. Basically, you can’t leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.
  2. Masks are useless. But they will protect you. They can save you, no they can’t, they’re useless, but wear one anyway. Now they’re mandatory. But maybe. Or not.
  3. Stores are closed, except for the ones that are open.
  4. You should not go to the hospital unless you have to go there. Stay out of the ER at all costs unless you’re having a medical emergency then it’s okay.
  5. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster. Stay calm.
  6. Gloves won’t help, but they can still help. Especially if you…

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