They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, but what happens when people can’t see them?
I have the early stages of dry age-related macular degeneration, which may or may not have been accelerated by much radiotherapy to my neck. At the moment there is no cure for it. Injections of Eylea, Lucentis or Avastin can be applied to aid patients suffering with the wet age-related version, but dry AMD has to be lived with and endured.
If I go outside I immediately see a bright ring of glare in my left eye, which goes away if I wear sunglasses. I’ve found the best sunglasses that help me are the kind where people cannot see my eyes, as shown in the picture below taken on our family picnic last weekend.
The sunglasses are attached magnetically to the frame, and can be removed when inside the house. My 4 year old grandson always tries to take them off, and if he succeeds, the older grandchildren always remark how different I look without them. If I’m out walking around the village, I’m aware that people cannot see my eyes if they talk to me, and I try to take them off. However, being outside without them causes me much difficulty and makes me squint.
I’ve come to realise it’s important for people to see your eyes when they’re communicating with you. It’s got to the point where I’m embarrassed to wear them if I’m talking to somebody outside of my immediate family. My sons and their wives know my eyesight problems and I don’t have to pretend around them, but it’s a different case if anybody else is involved.
Even if the sun is not shining I still cannot take them off outside. My eyes are otherwise fine, if sometimes a little watery and sore. Glad to say there’s nothing sinister going on in there, but boy oh boy, do I need my sunglasses!
If you’re talking to somebody wearing these type of sunglasses, would you prefer to see their eyes, or am I getting a little paranoid?
Clive said:
No need to feel paranoid! If you need to wear them, you should. If others have a problem with that it’s their problem, not yours. Anyway, there’s nothing wrong with looking like a rock star 😉
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Stevie Turner said:
Cheers, Clive!
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dgkaye said:
Well that is not fun! I have plenty of problems with my eyes too Stevie. I had laser holes drilled in them both 10 years ago to drain behind to prevent glaucoma and since that, sunlight and night driving lights oncoming hurt my eyes. Also, since way back when I’m out. no matter the season I have a habit of wearing sunglasses the whole time too. Go figure! ❤
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Stevie Turner said:
Something else where we’re the same!
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dgkaye said:
Go figure huh? :). Loving the new book Stevie, it’s been a crazy week but hoping to finish and have a review up on the weekend! ❤
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Stevie Turner said:
Thanks Debby. Partners in Time or Finding David?
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dgkaye said:
Finding David! Just finished. Hoping to review today! Loved it!!! ❤
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Stevie Turner said:
Thanks Debby. Great review – just seen it!
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dgkaye said:
My pleasure. It will be featured tomorrow 🙂 x
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Stevie Turner said:
I’m off to the van with a friend tomorrow but will share when I can. x
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dgkaye said:
No rush! It’s not going anywhere. 🙂 Enjoy! x
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Puzzles of the Soul said:
Like you I prefer to see people’s eyes to make contact with them. As for those who wear sunglasses so many people do and like yourself they wear them all year round regardless of the weather. I used to be very sensitive to the light more the grey skies than the bright ones. It got to the point I could not see to drive with sunglasses on or off. I decided to not wear them at all and to slowly strengthen my eyes I did this in my early 20s. You must do what is right for you and relax about wearing your sunglasses it is nobody’s business. I can see people’s eyes through their glasses so it makes no difference to me. Your health and vision are important no need to make excuses to anyone about it. Live your life and enjoy it. Relax and stay calm.
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Ellen Hawley said:
Wear ’em. My partner wears sunglasses anytime she’s out and nobody seems to have a problem with them, and they’ve never bothered me. Protect those eyes.
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Stevie Turner said:
Thanks Ellen. I do try to. I’ve lost another bloody pair today – got to go to the optician’s tomorrow and buy some more.
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Phil Huston said:
Paranoid. I’ve worn glasses since I was 10. I used to think the same of clear lenses. Depends. Like the frames are a form of disguise. If you know who you’re talking to, no big deal, and they shouldn’t be offended. In the world of communication via glass tapping who is looking? And there’s far more input from tone and body language. There’s a tiny scar on the cornea of my left eye that keeps it from being completely corrected by prescription lenses. The mild distortion is worse when my eyes are dilated. It is also more sensitive to airborne irritants – smoke, pollen, dust, sweat. There are times if a stranger were to look at that eye they might think me on a bender. The only time to worry about how your presentation is going over is doing crotocal business. I could care less if the guy changing the oil on my car or handing out grandkid cheeseburgers likes my shades or not, and neither should you. Take care of your eyes, that’s the important thing.
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Stevie Turner said:
And you weren’t on a bender (lol) ?
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abbiejohnsontaylor said:
Stevie, you should never be ashamed to wear sunglasses. If people who don’t know you seem uncomfortable, you can briefly explain your condition and why you need them.
A visual impairment should never be hidden. The sooner you accept it, the easier your life will be, believe me. I’ve dealt with it for fifty-eight years now.
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Stevie Turner said:
Thanks Abbie.
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Jennie said:
I don’t think people think you are different, as sunglasses are so common. They are as much of a fashion statement as eye protection.
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Darlene said:
Everyone should wear sunglasses when outside, especially if it’s sunny. In Spain and in Canada, they would look at you weird if you didn’t wear sunglasses. Not sure what the problem is, you are just protecting your eyes, a valuable part of your body. Besides, they make you look cool. xo
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Stevie Turner said:
Cheers for that, Darlene. I didn’t think it was possible to look cool at 61!
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Darlene said:
Of course! Nowadays 60 is the new 40. I am older than you and my grandchildren tell me I look cool all the time. xo
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Stevie Turner said:
Lol. Injecting humour into an awkward situation usually works well. Thanks for your comment.
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jenanita01 said:
I have considered having a tattoo on my forehead, but that’s just silly. But on those days when I have to wear dark glasses, the relief they give far outweighs all the weird looks…
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Stevie Turner said:
They do give instant relief. I’m always careful not to lose mine, and have a spare pair.
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jenanita01 said:
I will be glad when both of my cataracts are sorted and I can get all my glasses updated… I might even splurge out on some of those self-adjusting ones…
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Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life. said:
My mother wore self tinting glasses for the last 30 years of her life and people she knew became used to it. I agree people do think it odd indoors, but not outside, particularly on a sunny day.. If you feel the need to say something then do but really you shouldn’t need to.x
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Stevie Turner said:
Thanks Sally. I feel as though I ought to, but then don’t want to bore somebody I hardly know with the reason.
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Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life. said:
I think perhaps judge each encounter on its merits… xx
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robertawrites235681907 said:
It is nice to see someone’s eyes when you speak to them, especially if they are a stranger. However, if you have an eye problem it is understandable to wear sun glasses. My mom has problems with her eyes and sometimes has to wear her sun glasses inside during the day.
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Stevie Turner said:
Haven’t yet needed to wear them indoors, but I always have to wear them outside.
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Auntysocial said:
I don’t think you’re being paranoid but do understand how it can make you feel self conscious. I’m hard of hearing and really struggle to understand people unless they’re facing me when they talk. It’s difficult because people tend to mumble naturally and because most people can hear and hold conversations through rooms, I struggle but find the biggest issue is when I explain (in a friendly tone of voice as I can) that when they aren’t looking at me I can’t hear them they apologise to the point I end up feeling bad for having brought it up.
I get where you’re coming from entirely though and what I’d suggest is just explaining to people as and when you meet them you’re wearing the glasses to help you see it’s not a fashion statement and you up and down wearing a pair of shades like you’re trying to be gangsta. I suffer from hay fever which recently had me wearing shades more or less all day and each time I went into a shop or wherever, I found myself explaining to staff “I’m not being rude and leaving my shades on I have really bad hay fever!!”
Not that you should have to explain yourself at all but if it’s bothering you to that extent, I’d just get that in there from the outset and then there’s no awkwardness or uncertainty.
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Stevie Turner said:
I had thought of explaining to people, but don’t really need to go into my medical history with a near stranger. Perhaps I could just say I’ve got ‘dodgy’ eyes!
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Auntysocial said:
Yeah I’d just say that – could even make light of it to help ease if not avoid any awkwardness on their part too. I tend to go “I am sorry but I’m absolutely deaf as a turnip” and that usually does it.
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